republicans have more fun

is it just me or does it seem like roman-time caligula type shit with all these republicans gettin busted for sexual deviancy and what not. i mean these guys are the life of the party. god-damn! drugs, little boys, sexting, bathroom-booty-calls. shit... put me in a suit and tie and i'm basically a republican.

there's a tear in my beer

nashville is ok by me. i like the romanticism of the cowboy aesthetic. my grandfather always wore cowboy shirts and bolo ties. he used to sit at the kitchen table afterwork listening to hank williams and johnny cash all night every night. drinking straight whiskey and chain smoking winstons. he couldn't play but he always kept a guitar at the house so when his musician friends came over they could have sing-alongs. a bunch of drunken, sweaty, red-faced men hugging and singing... awesome. it was to me anyway.


the nashville country music museum is pretty rad. seems odd to me that they don't have a bigger hank williams section though. my friend ashley and i did the museum and then met up with ryan, zach, the finger 11 guys and a bunch of the tour bus drivers at a bar.


one of my favotite things about being sober is watching other people get drunk.


one of my least favorite things about being sober is listening to drunk people repeat shit.
afterwards we went to see the black crowes at the grand ole opry. i'm not a black crowes fan... at all. but i'm a grand ole opry fan. so that was cool.


did you know that ray charles used to read braile playboy? me either.

p.s. i'm not the kind of man who gives up just like that.

last few days have been crazy. lots of shows, lots of acoustic radio thingy's. lots of traveling. missing the shit out of gabe. i feel like i'm missing out on so much with him right now. i will make it up to him when i get home in a week. i have no place to live and no car when i get there but... as bukowski says: "i have nowhere to go and no money. hey, i'm back to normal!"

this life is crazy beautiful and i'm blown away by the experiences that fill my days. jah love.
here's a creepy moment that happened at one of the radio stations we were at. no comparison intended. just thought it was fuckin weird.

this post

was too gnarly to put up. this was not a good day.

t.v.o.t.r.

Suddenly, all your history's ablaze
Try to breath as the world desintegrates
Just like autumn leaves we're in for change
Holding tenderly to what remains
And all your memories are as precious as gold
And all the honey and the fire which you stole
Have you running through all your red cheek days
Shaking loose these songs from their sacred hiding space

Hold your heart courageously as we walk into this dark place
Stand, stare fast, erect and see that love is the province of the brave

tiger and the bear

yesterday was a long, slow and hot day off in Charlotte. doug and bear and i made the most of it with some 3 par and a patriots/panthers game. we were truly a sight to behold on the golf course. bear wants to be so good at golf it hurts him. i think dougie's a natural though. he'll probably have a second career as a pro-golfer or tennis player. or maybe lacrosse? i don't know. for some reason that makes complete sense to me. personally, i think golfing is just an excuse for grown men to drink and drive.

there are not words.

don't feed the bear-dog

our drum-tech brandon, a.k.a. bear, leads a truly charmed life. we met him on tour at a guitar center in little rock. we loved him so much that we hired him that very day as our roadie. he quit his job and left town with us that night and has been making our lives radder ever since. yesterday this man, this love machine, got on the phone with a cingular operator to talk about his bill. apparently he charmed the shirt off of her because within an hour bathtub pictures were being texted that would bring a tear to any players eye. bear, today i live vicariously through you. you got game comin out yr ass.

...

But in the morning
on the sober dawn of Sunday
you're not sure what you have done
Who told you love was fleeting?
Sometimes men can be so misleading
to take what they need from you
Whatever you need to make you feel
like you've been the one behind the wheel
the sunrise is just over that hill
the worst is over
Whatever I said to make you think
that love's the religion of the weak
this morning we love like weaklings
the worst is over.

thank you Mr. Phillips..

doug and i hit up Sun Studios in Memphis yesterday and took the tour. got to stand in the room and hold the very mic where Elvis recorded his first recordings and play the piano Jerry Lee Lewis played on "Great Balls OF Fire." don't get me wrong i love Elvis. even when he was fat he was still pretty cool. the bling-bling karate outfits were kinda bad-ass. but the true hero of the Memphis Blues Explosion in the fifties was Sam Phillips, the Sun Records owner that discovered Elvis. he was obsessed with bringing the blues to the masses. without him not only would i be jobless but more than likely.. dead. hail! hail! rock and roll.

humans

it's weird.. i've taken a decided and re-newed interest in the people around me and realized that i really appreciate and enjoy them. their flaws, their abilities, the weird little things we all do. humans are fucking strange and i love it. for the first six months of this tour i've pretty much kept to myself. recording in my hotel room, reading, jogging, isolating with the ipod, whatever. i realize now that i didn't know what i was missing. it's a once in a lifetime chance to travel the country, making music and meeting new people everyday. i'm going to take advantage of it.


last night was Zach our guitar techs birthday party. happy birthday buddy. i'm proud to call you a friend. you and yr girl looked really beautiful and happy together. later in the night Janine choked on some food and our boy Loc whipped out one badass Heimlich Maneuver. it was fuckin scary. Janine, i'm glad yr not dead. and Loc what can i say.. you are truly a hero.

thank you new orleans..

you can't really wrap yr head around what happened during katrina until you see it for yourself. we were lucky enough to have a runnner yesterday that was totally willing to drive us around to view some of the flood damage. our gracious host lost her home during the flood and still had such a positive outlook and faith in a higher power that it was truly inspiring. thank you jessica..

i'm embarrassed for our country that we have this tragedy in our own backyard and we continue to distract ourselves with reality t.v. and american idols. it would have been different if it had been homes in beverly hills that ended up looking like this.

if you look on the wall behind ryan's "blue steel" you can see the flood line is around the 8' mark. imagine that shit in hollywood...

but it wasn't all gloom and doom. we had an amazing show and the crowd went crazy when we dedicated blurry to the flood victims and they sang the chorus so loud i could barely hear my guitar. afterward we went to the french quarter and laughed at the amateur drinkers. ended up at a strip bar where a very talkative employee would not leave me alone. apparently she has been with her boyfriend since she was 12 when he took her virginity and they used to live together and now they don't and he would be so mad if he knew she was dancing. here is the look of someone that wants to chew his arm off:


oh and btw: new favorite band: nada surf. god, they are so good it hurts.

there's nothing wrong with love...

went to L.A. again for a couple days. was going to try to move my shit out and ended up having to be in the studio the whole time instead. trying to figure out where i was gonna stay each night, and find a new place to live, and move my shit, all without the help of drugs or alcohol was too much for me anyway. all in due time. i've realized that no matter how fucked i might feel sometimes, it keeps getting better. not only does it get better but you grow and learn from it. i wanted to be pissed, but i'm not. i wanted to isolate, but i don't. normally, i would just bury this shit with a new relationship, but i won't. it meant more to me than that. i want to take the time to work on some personal defects and be independent. not replace the problem like i always have. and for me, right now, the only good answer to any question in my mind... is love. not anger.

god..

grant me the serenity
to accept the things that i can not change,
the courage
to change the things i can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

amen.

to the canadian border patrol.. thank you.

for letting my felonious ass into yr country. again. even if it did cost me another $200 loons. or whatever you call them.

so.. i took down some of the more personal blogs i put up here cause some people started to get worried about me. i appreciate that, but i actually am totally fine. was feeling a little sorry for myself maybe, but hey, i'm allowed. maybe starting a blog while your in the middle of an emotional breakdown is not the best idea? hmm. i don't know. it's real that's for sure, and i'm really into that right now. anything that's truthful and real, especially if i can learn from it.
last few days: awesome. made some new friends in canada, jet skied on the Columbia River, saw some amazing scenery..

and also rocked out for like 18,000 rad Washingtonites(?)

goin to stop through LA tomorrow to see Rage Against The Machine and then off to Phoenix...

yay for friends

went to lunch with andrew and pete today before my flight to canada. i love the shit out of them. they have been the key to the door out of where ever i have been stuck for the last few days. thank you guys for being there for me. respect. getting out of L.A. was the best thing that could have happened right now. no reminders of the past. just pure present tense do what's in front of me road dogging. i truly do love my life and i don't want to waste one more second being depressed. everything is as it should be, nothing is ever as it seems and anything is possible.

although, i have to say my gallow's humour is as sharp as it ever was. i've been burning myself pretty good lately.


here's our tour manager janine writing in her diary on the plane. isn't she cute? i told her she couldn't be in my blog unless she wrote about me in her diary. i lied.

go with the flow

Got to spend the day at the Orange County Fair yesterday with Gabe and my old pals Reg and Ethan. Reg is a good egg who really likes her spirituality and we shared some great conversations on the topic. And some laughs over old times. I like being with friends that know everything about me, even the embarassing parts. I like to laugh at people, myself most of all though.
Gabe and Ethan kept upping the ante with the rides they were willing to go on. It climaxed with the three of us on the swinging pirate ship that goes all the way over the top and me being the one that wanted off. Heres a pic of Gabe on the first really big ferris wheel of the day. I caught him praying. When I asked him what he was praying about he said he was praying that it doesn't come off the hinges and roll away.

Oh yeah and a strange thing happened: Gabe had a sleep over at Ethans the night before and when they all came to pick me up for the fair, Gabe and I were both wearing t-shirts with a picture of Jesus on it.

little bird

This picture describes how I feel right now. Scared, anxious, nervous. But somehow excited. It is a picture of a little girl named Nikita. She was part of a class field trip that my son's summer camp took him to on Friday. I was lucky enough to get to chaperone. I caught this beautiful moment with a bit more luck. The bird had just jumped on her arm and she had obviously never held a bird before. Scared as hell, but you can tell she loves it. Ten minutes after this pic she was like the "Bird Lady" of the Long Beach Aquarium. A beautiful moment on a beautiful day.

Yesterday I lost my best friend. When you love someone you must set them free. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. Fly, fly little bird. Hope all your dreams come true. You sure got some pretty feathers...